Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
