I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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