I think my vagina is haunted
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I touched a dick in church today
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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