hell yes lets make some ravioli
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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