He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
please don't ironically join a cult
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
