Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
