also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
