Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
