We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
