Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
vagina is talking i cant
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
