I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
