do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
