Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
