now i know why i became what i already was.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
