false alarm. still invincible.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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