Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
