Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
