im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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