I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish you could order shots online.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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