I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
