i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
