Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
