I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
