Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
