so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
