He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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