And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
