I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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