Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
