Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
