Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do herpes really smell.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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