I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
