oh god the rape fog is back!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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