why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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