I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize