Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My life is pants optional.
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