Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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