No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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