Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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