just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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