I could make wine with my vomit
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
