so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
