No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
