so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
