It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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