so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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