It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's just like the Real World with babies
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize