didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
