So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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