How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
