WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
