If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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