yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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