38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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