I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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