Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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