Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
