Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
