I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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