hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
