so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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