I am puke
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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