I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
