how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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