shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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