We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just gift wrapped bread.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
