we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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