chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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