East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize