sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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