I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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