took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
