bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
